The quick patter of footsteps upon cold stone drenched the night in anxious fear. The darkness held secrets known only to the bearer of these feet - the creator of these footsteps. The echoes rebounded down the spiral staircase, but they fell on no ears, as the castle was all but deserted.
"S-Sir...," the creature bearing the mentioned feet said, catching its breath.
There was a pause, at first normal, but it grew awkward as the moments stretched on. The titular sir stood facing away from the speaker, giving no indication of hearing it speak. He merely stared, out of his window and into the dark of night, watching the moon become obscured by clouds.
Soon, though, when he deemed it was time to speak, he replied.
"Ah. My spy. Tell me, 'Twiceler', what news do you bring of that place?"
Twiceler breathed hard, catching his breath. He did not hesitate to answer, though.
"I-It's bad, sir... They're making another inane, nonsensical story involving themselves..."
"IMPOSSIBLE," growled the man, turning swiftly and allowing his makeshift cape to swirl around his bare chest. "How self-absorbed is this community?! Don't they realize that this will ostracize any new members even more?!"
"Y-yes...," said Twiceler, bowing. "Th-they are truly foolish, a-aren't they..."
"But, my loyal servant, what of the zombies?"
Twiceler twitched, turning away from the piercing stare of the man. Noting this, the man raised an eyebrow. Slowly, languidly, he walked forward.
"What of the zombies, Twiceler?"
"E-Exabot made a report, sir... The one they call... 'Rosti'... h-he knew..."
"Bollocks!" shouted the man, and then grimaced, realizing his awkward word choice. He nevertheless continued. "I should have known. I should have expected him. Why did I not see it?!"
He turned in anger, once again flaring his cape with his graceful-yet-manly pirouette. He gripped the edge of the balcony, peering out. As if cued, the wind picked up, splaying his hair and ruffling his boxers.
"If he knows... then UNF and Snoggums will know. And this cannot happen." He crossed his arms, standing up straight. "Twiceler! Take Baidu with you and unlock three more of the zombie pens. Attack head on. We will take them out now, before they have a chance to react. That damned Brit won't thwart me, I swear to god."
Twiceler nodded, scrambling to escape the premises as quickly as its miniature legs could carry it. It shivered, thinking of what was to come.
Sean grinned wickedly as the wind swirled his cape behind him and the camera zoomed up to his face, focusing on his bared teeth.
"God save the Queen."
