Things That Probably Shouldn't See The Light Of Day Again

[Rosti LFC]

There are a few things that I've been meaning to dig up from my MSN and IRC logs for a while, but I've not bothered getting around to it until now. One of them is the infamous Makoto lightsabre chat log, which has been lost to the ages somewhat, but that's on my old computer and I can't be bothered getting it yet. However, there is this one, which is on my laptop (and therefore easy to access), and is just as fucking creepy and weird.

I tried to go along with this for the lulz, but the awkwardness and weirdness got the better of me a little, so I chickened out. For the record, I blocked this guy after this convo, and I don't think I've ever spoken to him again. I didn't really know who he was at the time (except I think from Hadaway) and I have even less clue who he is now.
This chat is entirely unedited, except for a script I placed on it to make it IRC-like and easier to follow because the standard MSN log format is a bit of a pain.

20/09/2008  22:24:29  <Raymie>  Rosti.
20/09/2008  22:24:35  <Raymie>  Can I tell you something?
20/09/2008  22:25:06  <Rosti>  yeah
20/09/2008  22:25:24  <Raymie>  I'm kind of girly.
20/09/2008  22:25:31  <Rosti>  lol
20/09/2008  22:25:35  <Raymie>  Really.
20/09/2008  22:25:35  <Rosti>  not necessarily a bad thing
20/09/2008  22:25:48  <Raymie>  Now...with some IM contacts, I've asked like an 11 year old girl.
20/09/2008  22:25:51  <Raymie>  Her name is Ramona
20/09/2008  22:25:53  <Raymie>  XD
20/09/2008  22:26:20  <Rosti>  wait what?

Slightly bewildering start to the conversation...

20/09/2008  22:26:38  <Raymie>  I've acted like an 11-year-old girl, named Ramona, with some IM people.
20/09/2008  22:26:41  <Rosti>  ah
20/09/2008  22:26:42  <Rosti>  lol
20/09/2008  22:27:03  <Raymie>  If you want, we could do that. You could make a character too.
20/09/2008  22:27:13  <Rosti>  I've masqueraded as a girl a few times
20/09/2008  22:27:22  <Raymie>  What's her name?
20/09/2008  22:27:24  <Rosti>  something that could be reasonably dangerous to make a habit out of
20/09/2008  22:27:40  <Rosti>  I just used the same screen name, but with people who wouldn't recognise it
20/09/2008  22:27:49  <Rosti>  or said I was a girl when people have asked
20/09/2008  22:27:55  <Raymie>  Wow.
20/09/2008  22:29:52  <Raymie>  Well...
20/09/2008  22:31:20  <Raymie>  could we act like girls together?
20/09/2008  22:31:27  <Raymie>  You could make a whole new character.
20/09/2008  22:31:51  <Rosti>  hmm
20/09/2008  22:32:50  <Rosti>  you mean like right now?
20/09/2008  22:33:06  <Raymie>  Yeah, we could make your character together.
20/09/2008  22:33:33  <Rosti>  I wouldn't want it to be any younger than 17
20/09/2008  22:33:49  <Raymie>  Really? Why?
20/09/2008  22:33:54  <Raymie>  It's a lot cooler to be younger. XD
20/09/2008  22:34:05  <Rosti>  I don't know. I'd feel slightly uncomfortable
20/09/2008  22:34:21  <Raymie>  Why?
20/09/2008  22:35:05  <Rosti>  Hard to really explain

For "Hard to really explain" I think I meant "FOR FUCKING OBVIOUS REASONS YOU RETARD".

20/09/2008  22:35:20  <Raymie>  Try it. I think you'll like it.
20/09/2008  22:35:48  <Rosti>  As an 18 year old guy... to pretend to be a 12 year old girl
20/09/2008  22:36:04  <Raymie>  What's the insecurity issue?
20/09/2008  22:36:25  <Rosti>  I'd feel like some sort of sexual predator
20/09/2008  22:36:31  <Rosti>  even if I was doing it with innoncent intent
20/09/2008  22:36:36  <Raymie>  Don't worry, it's OK
20/09/2008  22:36:38  <Rosti>  I'd feel uncomfortable
20/09/2008  22:36:52  <Raymie>  Just try it. You'll grow into it.
20/09/2008  22:37:25  <Rosti>  I'm sort of busy right now though =\
20/09/2008  22:37:50  <Raymie>  With what?
20/09/2008  22:38:01  <Rosti>  Firstly watching Azumanga Daioh
20/09/2008  22:38:11  <Rosti>  secondly trying to find a song to download
20/09/2008  22:38:32  <Rosti>  thirdly with working on my site
20/09/2008  22:38:47  <Raymie>  Well...can I at least call you a girl name? You can call me Ramona in return.

Definitely not the best trade I've ever been offered in my life. Also Azumanga Daioh <3

20/09/2008  22:39:06  <Rosti>  Yeah sure
20/09/2008  22:39:10  <Rosti>  erm
20/09/2008  22:39:20  <Rosti>  Go for... Rebecca
20/09/2008  22:39:31  <Raymie>  Is that what you want? Or can I choose the name?
20/09/2008  22:39:39  <Rosti>  You can choose it then
20/09/2008  22:40:00  <Raymie>  Well, I've got a few.
20/09/2008  22:40:18  <Rosti>  ok
20/09/2008  22:40:22  <Raymie>  Gabrielle...Jessica...
20/09/2008  22:40:24  <Raymie>  ...hold on...
20/09/2008  22:40:42  <Raymie>  ...Sarah...
20/09/2008  22:40:51  <Raymie>  ...Alyssa.
20/09/2008  22:40:55  <Raymie>  Which one of those four?
20/09/2008  22:40:58  <Rosti>  Jessica
20/09/2008  22:41:14  <Raymie>  OK, I'll call you that.
20/09/2008  22:41:49  <Raymie>  What would you like as Jessica?
20/09/2008  22:42:29  <Rosti>  what do you mean>
20/09/2008  22:42:48  <Raymie>  What would you like, dislike, what would you look like...
20/09/2008  22:45:12  <Rosti>  Hmm
20/09/2008  22:45:20  <Rosti>  I don't really know
20/09/2008  22:45:33  <Rosti>  that isn't the sort of thing I could just make up on the spot unless I really had to

Apparently I have to...

20/09/2008  22:45:42  <Raymie>  Can I kind of design you then?

...or maybe not.

20/09/2008  22:45:50  <Rosti>  yeah ok
20/09/2008  22:46:06  <Raymie>  OK...is it OK if you're younger than 17 for just a while? Then we can see if you like it or not?
20/09/2008  22:46:10  <Rosti>  ok
20/09/2008  22:46:40  <Raymie>  Well...since I'm 11...is 11 OK or is that too far?
20/09/2008  22:47:04  <Raymie>  (11 as Ramona)
20/09/2008  22:47:39  <Raymie>  Hmm?
20/09/2008  22:47:57  <Rosti>  I guess
20/09/2008  22:48:12  <Raymie>  So...you're going to be my twin.

yaaaaay related by blood

20/09/2008  22:48:26  <Rosti>  ok
20/09/2008  22:48:44  <Raymie>  You'll have dirty blonde hair...blue eyes...
20/09/2008  22:49:04  <Raymie>  ...like either purple or pink (your choice).
20/09/2008  22:49:15  <Raymie>  You like dolls (ya, you're girly)...
20/09/2008  22:49:19  <Raymie>  hmm, what else?
20/09/2008  22:49:56  <Rosti>  I don't know
20/09/2008  22:50:11  <Raymie>  You don't like many boyish things.
20/09/2008  22:50:20  <Raymie>  You like the color pink.
20/09/2008  22:50:25  <Raymie>  (Would you be good at music or art?)
20/09/2008  22:50:28  <Rosti>  music
20/09/2008  22:50:42  <Raymie>  What instrument?
20/09/2008  22:50:55  <Raymie>  (Maybe darker skin or keep it light?)
20/09/2008  22:51:30  <Rosti>  hmm
20/09/2008  22:51:41  <Rosti>  I guess a girlier instrument
20/09/2008  22:51:44  <Rosti>  so lets say Viola
20/09/2008  22:51:44  <Raymie>  I'm leaning toward the darker.
20/09/2008  22:51:48  <Raymie>  OK.
20/09/2008  22:51:53  <Raymie>  I'm leaning toward darker skin. How dark?
20/09/2008  22:52:21  <Raymie>  Hmm?
20/09/2008  22:52:35  <Rosti>  I'd say well-tanned
20/09/2008  22:52:43  <Raymie>  Just a tan? Not darker?
20/09/2008  22:52:54  <Rosti>  well like a dark tan
20/09/2008  22:53:01  <Rosti>  but not so dark as you'd think I was anything more than Latino
20/09/2008  22:53:10  <Raymie>  We'd both have it, then.
20/09/2008  22:53:12  <Raymie>  OK.
20/09/2008  22:53:26  <Raymie>  So, what would we like to do together? (Gymnastics or dance?)
20/09/2008  22:53:32  <Raymie>  I'd be the art girl. XD
20/09/2008  22:53:42  <Rosti>  gymnastics
20/09/2008  22:53:58  <Raymie>  Hmm.
20/09/2008  22:54:06  <Raymie>  As for size...taller or shorter.
20/09/2008  22:54:18  <Rosti>  shorter
20/09/2008  22:54:26  <Raymie>  Like 4'2"?
20/09/2008  22:54:44  <Rosti>  I don't really know how short or tall that is for an 11-year old
20/09/2008  22:54:52  <Raymie>  But that's probably fine.
20/09/2008  22:55:54  <Raymie>  Would we be popular or not at school?
20/09/2008  22:56:23  <Rosti>  popular
20/09/2008  22:56:27  <Rosti>  might as well be if we get to pick
20/09/2008  22:56:37  <Raymie>  Any more ideas?
20/09/2008  22:56:53  <Rosti>  Where would we live?
20/09/2008  22:57:07  <Raymie>  *I meant...
20/09/2008  22:57:10  <Raymie>  Oh...
20/09/2008  22:57:12  <Raymie>  I don't know...
20/09/2008  22:57:59  <Raymie>  Do we need to resolve that?
20/09/2008  22:58:05  <Rosti>  I guess not
20/09/2008  22:58:11  <Raymie>  Anything else?
20/09/2008  22:58:24  <Raymie>  I need ideas.
20/09/2008  22:58:26  <Rosti>  not that I can think of
20/09/2008  22:58:34  <Raymie>  Well, then...
20/09/2008  22:58:56  <Raymie>  *waves wand*
20/09/2008  22:59:01  <Raymie>  We are now Ramona and Jessica.

*waves wand*. Really. It's that easy.

20/09/2008  22:59:11  <Raymie>  [Should we change text colors to pink?]
20/09/2008  23:00:16  <Raymie>  [Hmm?]
20/09/2008  23:00:36  <Rosti>  erm
20/09/2008  23:00:37  <Raymie>  [Anything in brackets is OOC]
20/09/2008  23:00:44  <Rosti>  {right}
20/09/2008  23:00:48  <Rosti>  1 sec brb
20/09/2008  23:01:08  <Raymie>  kk
20/09/2008  23:02:31  <Raymie>  r u back
20/09/2008  23:02:35  <Rosti>  yes
20/09/2008  23:02:37  <Raymie>  [as ramona i tlk like that]
20/09/2008  23:02:42  <Rosti>  right ok
20/09/2008  23:02:48  <Raymie>  so shud we change our colors 2 pink
20/09/2008  23:02:55  <Rosti>  [I'd change font colour but other people are talking to me and they'd ask]
20/09/2008  23:02:59  <Raymie>  [u shud try n tlk like dat 2]
20/09/2008  23:03:03  <Raymie>  [well i will kk]
20/09/2008  23:03:18  <Rosti>  cnt 11 year olds hav gud spellin?
20/09/2008  23:03:43  <Raymie>  well ive done it lik dis when ramona 4 a long time
20/09/2008  23:03:52  <Rosti>  rite ok

Yeah, apparently primary school literacy is really fucking abysmal these days....

20/09/2008  23:04:21  <Raymie>  so iv also changed fonts 2 comic sans
20/09/2008  23:04:30  <Raymie>  a tad smaller their we go
20/09/2008  23:05:14  <Rosti>  Ok I changed my font
20/09/2008  23:05:19  <Raymie>  rly i dont see it
20/09/2008  23:05:30  <Rosti>  maybe u dnt hav it
20/09/2008  23:05:37  <Raymie>  wats it called
20/09/2008  23:05:54  <Raymie>  id use comic sans
20/09/2008  23:06:42  <Rosti>  i dnt like comic sans tho
20/09/2008  23:06:52  <Raymie>  u shud try it
20/09/2008  23:07:00  <Raymie>  [as raymie i dont lik it but as ramona i do]
20/09/2008  23:07:30  <Raymie>  so r u doin it
20/09/2008  23:07:58  <Rosti>  hang on
20/09/2008  23:08:00  <Rosti>  lookin at fonts
20/09/2008  23:08:27  <Rosti>  I like dis one
20/09/2008  23:08:32  <Raymie>  wats it called
20/09/2008  23:08:33  <Rosti>  looks a bit weird tho
20/09/2008  23:08:35  <Rosti>  Flik
20/09/2008  23:08:40  <Raymie>  i cant see dat
20/09/2008  23:08:45  <Raymie>  plz use comic sans
20/09/2008  23:08:45  <Rosti>  ...
20/09/2008  23:08:46  <Raymie>  n pink
20/09/2008  23:09:16  <Raymie>  kk
20/09/2008  23:09:50  <Rosti>  hmm
20/09/2008  23:09:59  <Rosti>  this font is rly small lol
20/09/2008  23:10:07  <Raymie>  wats dat 1 called
20/09/2008  23:10:16  <Rosti>  uh
20/09/2008  23:10:23  <Rosti>  Kartika
20/09/2008  23:10:38  <Raymie>  do u wan me 2 download it so i can see it or wat
20/09/2008  23:10:56  <Rosti>  nah i'll find a different one
20/09/2008  23:11:07  <Raymie>  will u use comic sans @ all
20/09/2008  23:11:14  <Rosti>  no
20/09/2008  23:11:17  <Rosti>  i hates it
20/09/2008  23:11:25  <Raymie>  even as jessica
20/09/2008  23:11:40  <Rosti>  yeah
20/09/2008  23:11:43  <Rosti>  lol
20/09/2008  23:11:45  <Rosti>  there's limits

This part of the conversation doesn't work so well without the fonts from the MSN log, but I can't really transfer the colour and font across to here. And yeah, RPing as a little girl is fine, but no fucking way I'm touching Comic Sans.

20/09/2008  23:12:00  <Raymie>  y wont u use it
20/09/2008  23:12:29  <Rosti>  becuz it sucks
20/09/2008  23:12:37  <Raymie>  but itz so gurlie
20/09/2008  23:12:41  <Raymie>  i luv it
20/09/2008  23:13:08  <Rosti>  i like to be differnt
20/09/2008  23:13:14  <Raymie>  so wat will u use
20/09/2008  23:13:21  <Rosti>  i don kno
20/09/2008  23:13:46  <Raymie>  mb arial or verdana
20/09/2008  23:14:10  <Rosti>  how about dis?
20/09/2008  23:14:24  <Raymie>  yah dats fine
20/09/2008  23:14:28  <Raymie>  but ur not changin ur color huh
20/09/2008  23:15:43  <Raymie>  hmm
20/09/2008  23:16:23  <Rosti>  [colour changes for other people though]
20/09/2008  23:16:30  <Rosti>  and they'd be like wtf you using pink for
20/09/2008  23:16:40  <Raymie>  tru
20/09/2008  23:16:52  <Raymie>  how long hav u used red
20/09/2008  23:17:16  <Rosti>  a long time
20/09/2008  23:17:18  <Rosti>  since i got msn
20/09/2008  23:17:19  <Raymie>  u cud use a change
20/09/2008  23:17:27  <Rosti>  yeh but i like red
20/09/2008  23:17:35  <Raymie>  no pinks ur fav color
20/09/2008  23:38:49  <Raymie>  so wat shud we do
20/09/2008  23:40:58  <Rosti>  ah, sorry, a bit busy
20/09/2008  23:41:42  <Raymie>  with wat
20/09/2008  23:44:12  <Rosti>  arguing with someone
20/09/2008  23:44:24  <Raymie>  who
20/09/2008  23:44:27  <Raymie>  n y
20/09/2008  23:44:35  <Rosti>  Drybones/Brodey
20/09/2008  23:44:37  <Rosti>  and because
20/09/2008  23:44:43  <Rosti>  I don't need a reason to argue with someone
20/09/2008  23:44:57  <Raymie>  i dont know who dat is
21/09/2008  00:04:08  <Raymie>  so can we tlk now
21/09/2008  00:04:22  <Rosti>  er yeah ok
21/09/2008  00:04:37  <Rosti>  idk, I'm not a massive fan of role-playing
21/09/2008  00:04:55  <Raymie>  so wat els wud we lik n not lik
21/09/2008  00:05:21  <Rosti>  erm
21/09/2008  00:09:16  <Raymie>  do u kno
21/09/2008  00:09:23  <Rosti>  no
21/09/2008  00:09:35  <Raymie>  wud we lik gurlz or boys more
21/09/2008  00:11:08  <Rosti>  girls
21/09/2008  00:11:20  <Raymie>  lets see
21/09/2008  00:11:31  <Raymie>  wat about food
21/09/2008  00:12:11  <Rosti>  pizza
21/09/2008  00:16:09  <Raymie>  4 both of us or jus u
21/09/2008  00:16:23  <Rosti>  i dont care


And I bail. And that's it. One of the fucking weirdest and creepiest conversations I've ever been dragged into 

I'll post more as I dig them up. Feel free to add your own guys.

[Snoggums]

What. The. Eff?

What. The. HELL.

You never saw him after that?

[Rosti LFC]

I blocked him and did my best to avoid all contact with him, to be fair :x

[Genevra]

Hahaha that's fucking hilarious.

I guess I'll still have to wait patiently for the Makoto logs, Jessica.

[Snoggums]

I showed my friend, Charles, this and the our lightsaber article.

He proceeded to freak out and ask "what the fuck is wrong with you people". :x

[Rosti LFC]

Lightsabre log is found and on my flash drive. As are all are the logs from my old PC (all 18 months of them, which are horribly filed in separate folders with DD-MM-YYYY dates). Feels like Wikileaks...

Will start releasing quotes from the log now. Not going to paste it all at once because it's a whopping 2000 lines and 19000 words in size.

[Rosti LFC]

[Rosti LFC]

[Rosti LFC]

Right, after about half an hour of detective work, sifting through various old logs and piecing together stuff, I have finally found the Lost Ark of the Covenant log. The main reason I couldn't ever find it before was because I was never actually present when the conversation took place, and therefore XChat never actually logged it. I actually acquired the log from Mack later.


This is going to take me a while to pick highlights from, but I can give a taster of shit to look forward to:

[spoiler=VERY NSFW][2008-06-10 22:50:29] * Andrea slowly dry rubs her now wet pussy over patricks growing cock[/spoiler]

[Clyde]

Oh dear god.  How did we ever put up with these people?

I am disappointed in Snesfanatic, if he is the person I think he is on NSider.

And who was Kaim/Patrick on NSider?  I am pretty out of the loop for some of this.

[Alex]

I can't read this through. :x

[Rosti LFC]

Kaim/Patrick is aka PM_NiGHTS

He was Andrea's e-boyfriend at the time.

[Cythrosi]

More like personal bitch than e-boyfriend.  Wonder if he'll end up gay like the others.

[Snoggums]

... Why did we continue associating with these people after all that? I just realized how WEIRD they all were LoL.

[Clyde]

... Why did we continue associating with these people after all that? I just realized how WEIRD they all were LoL.

Yeah, and not even the good kind of weird.  Just the creepy kind.

[Fluffy Cocaine]

... Why did we continue associating with these people after all that? I just realized how WEIRD they all were LoL.

Personal amusement, and they were the only ones at the time that were crazier than we were...

Actually, I think I'm horridly desensitized to this whole thing. The thing that made me laugh the most and the thing I found the most strange was that Andrea thought that /clear cleared everyone's screen. The lightsaber thing is something I have long accepted.

[Cythrosi]

Most of this stuff happened after she left here anyways, and she was over at Hadaway or NS2.  Though there was the crap she used to post in the Shoutbox way way way back with Sharpedo or whatever his name was.  That was one of the reasons I started clearing it all the time. :x

[Rosti LFC]

Was planning on heavily editing this, but there's actually not a huge amount I can really cut besides people joining and leaving and the like (which I have cut). It's pretty much non-stop wtf grossness throughout 

So I figured the best option would probably be to just post it in instalments. This stuff is definitely the worst of the lot, especially given the age of half the people in the chat. Heavy NSFW and TMI. Also fucking heavy lulz.

[spoiler=Part I - Penis Size]


[2008-06-10 22:08:41] <Andrea> LOL
[2008-06-10 22:08:48] <Andrea> one time at ban camp I used a lightsaber
[2008-06-10 22:08:50] <Andrea>
[2008-06-10 22:08:54] <Andrea> band*
[2008-06-10 22:09:21] <SHININGSTEEL> lol
[2008-06-10 22:09:34] <Andrea> Who has the biggest tongue here?
[2008-06-10 22:09:47] <OOKIRBY>
[2008-06-10 22:09:49] <OOKIRBY> Me
[2008-06-10 22:09:56] <Andrea> But you're taken
[2008-06-10 22:10:07] <SHININGSTEEL> I've never measured my tongue
[2008-06-10 22:10:14] <Totla> Let's find out with oral
[2008-06-10 22:10:33] <Andrea> How far can you stick it?
[2008-06-10 22:10:48] <Totla> Eight or nine inches
[2008-06-10 22:10:51] <SHININGSTEEL> Well...
[2008-06-10 22:11:04] <SHININGSTEEL> About 30 inches
[2008-06-10 22:11:05] <Andrea> That would be a LONG tongue
[2008-06-10 22:11:14] <SHININGSTEEL> jk
[2008-06-10 22:11:21] <Andrea> that would HURT
[2008-06-10 22:11:35] <Andrea> my lightsaber is 46 inches though but only 8 or 9 goes in
[2008-06-10 22:11:36] <Andrea> XD
[2008-06-10 22:11:51] <SHININGSTEEL> I needed to know that
[2008-06-10 22:11:57] <Andrea> yup you did
[2008-06-10 22:11:59] <OOKIRBY> :O
[2008-06-10 22:12:01] <SHININGSTEEL> ...
[2008-06-10 22:12:08] <Andrea> I'm tired
[2008-06-10 22:12:23] <SHININGSTEEL> I thought girls liked it in the womb
[2008-06-10 22:12:42] <jatoskep> I like it in the womb
[2008-06-10 22:12:43] <Andrea> not too deep it hurts
[2008-06-10 22:12:54] <Andrea> I'm happy with 8 inches max
[2008-06-10 22:13:07] <SHININGSTEEL> Well the people at my school are lying
[2008-06-10 22:13:11] <SHININGSTEEL> Liars
[2008-06-10 22:13:27] <Andrea> Perhaps some like that though
[2008-06-10 22:13:29] <jatoskep> That's what the internet is for
[2008-06-10 22:13:34] <Andrea> I just know for me I don't
[2008-06-10 22:13:51] <Andrea> Who here has had sex?
[2008-06-10 22:13:53] <SHININGSTEEL> Not many guys go above 5
[2008-06-10 22:13:59] * jatoskep raises hand.
[2008-06-10 22:14:04] <Andrea> 5 inches is WEAK
[2008-06-10 22:14:06] <SHININGSTEEL> Still a virgin
[2008-06-10 22:14:13] <Andrea> jato how old are you?
[2008-06-10 22:14:15] <jatoskep> 16
[2008-06-10 22:14:24] <Andrea> cool
[2008-06-10 22:14:29] * SHININGSTEEL cries
[2008-06-10 22:14:37] <Andrea> why you cry Shining?
[2008-06-10 22:14:39] <Andrea> you want some"
[2008-06-10 22:14:42] <SHININGSTEEL> no
[2008-06-10 22:14:45] <jatoskep> lol
[2008-06-10 22:14:47] <SHININGSTEEL> just the "weak" comment
[2008-06-10 22:14:48] <Andrea> then why cry?
[2008-06-10 22:14:48] <OOKIRBY> does getting a blow job count as losing your virgintiy?
[2008-06-10 22:14:51] <Andrea> oh
[2008-06-10 22:14:53] <Totla> no
[2008-06-10 22:14:56] <OOKIRBY> mk Good
[2008-06-10 22:14:58] <Andrea> Yeah 5 inches doesn't cut it
[2008-06-10 22:14:59] <OOKIRBY> then im a virgin
[2008-06-10 22:15:02] <SONICDUDE41> Hi
[2008-06-10 22:15:04] <SHININGSTEEL> I'm still 13 si
[2008-06-10 22:15:06] <SHININGSTEEL> so*
[2008-06-10 22:15:17] <Andrea> you'll grow then
[2008-06-10 22:15:17] <SHININGSTEEL> I have more time to grow
[2008-06-10 22:15:21] <Andrea> Yup ^)^
[2008-06-10 22:15:24] <SHININGSTEEL> This is so odd
[2008-06-10 22:15:29] <SONICDUDE41> You're 13, Shining?
[2008-06-10 22:15:32] <SHININGSTEEL> yep
[2008-06-10 22:15:46] <Andrea> But if all you get is 5 inches don't worry
[2008-06-10 22:15:52] <Andrea> just learn to use your tongue
[2008-06-10 22:15:57] <OOKIRBY> Im 7 inches
[2008-06-10 22:15:59] <jatoskep> Or find a midget.
[2008-06-10 22:15:59] <OOKIRBY> 3 around
[2008-06-10 22:16:00] <OOKIRBY>
[2008-06-10 22:16:08] <Andrea> WOW Kirby that's SWEET!
[2008-06-10 22:16:09] <Andrea> XD
[2008-06-10 22:16:12] <OOKIRBY> I know right?
[2008-06-10 22:16:12] <OOKIRBY>
[2008-06-10 22:16:13] <SHININGSTEEL> lol
[2008-06-10 22:16:17] <OOKIRBY> I feel gifted
[2008-06-10 22:16:20] <jatoskep> lol
[2008-06-10 22:16:23] <Andrea> You'll make Maria happy when you're married ;P
[2008-06-10 22:16:25] <OOKIRBY> its the only good feature i have
[2008-06-10 22:16:27] <OOKIRBY> xDDDD
[2008-06-10 22:16:28] <jatoskep> lol
[2008-06-10 22:16:36] <Andrea> I doubt that Kirby you are a sweet guy
[2008-06-10 22:16:42] <OOKIRBY> aw thanks
[2008-06-10 22:16:44] <AOE_Dude> interesting
[2008-06-10 22:16:54] <Andrea> I love you even when we fight XD
[/spoiler]


[spoiler=Part II - Ejaculate]


[2008-06-10 22:17:03] <Andrea> Hey make up sex is the best don't forget that
[2008-06-10 22:17:12] <SHININGSTEEL> Cyber?
[2008-06-10 22:17:17] <Andrea> I like cyber
[2008-06-10 22:17:18] <OOKIRBY> make up sex?
[2008-06-10 22:17:22] <Andrea> but no the real sex
[2008-06-10 22:17:32] <OOKIRBY> But don't you like some crazy type?
[2008-06-10 22:17:32] <Andrea> and yeah make up sex is the sex you have after a big fight
[2008-06-10 22:17:36] <OOKIRBY> oo
[2008-06-10 22:17:42] <OOKIRBY> that always calms the nerves
[2008-06-10 22:17:43] <Andrea> Me I like bondage
[2008-06-10 22:17:43] <SHININGSTEEL> It's really hard for me to be turned on by artifical things.
[2008-06-10 22:17:43] <_77BeTa77> 50$ says everyone but andera is a virgin
[2008-06-10 22:17:48] <OOKIRBY>
[2008-06-10 22:17:53] <Andrea> LOL
[2008-06-10 22:18:01] <SHININGSTEEL> I'm a proud virgin. No sex 'till marriage.
[2008-06-10 22:18:04] <Andrea> Jato isn't a virgin so pay up
[2008-06-10 22:18:05] <_77BeTa77> same
[2008-06-10 22:18:05] <OOKIRBY> Yepo
[2008-06-10 22:18:13] <Andrea> I was married so I had sex yes
[2008-06-10 22:18:21] <SHININGSTEEL> lol
[2008-06-10 22:18:24] <_77BeTa77> *pays 50$*
[2008-06-10 22:18:30] <Andrea> no more sex till marriage again though
[2008-06-10 22:18:33] <_77BeTa77> What's it like
[2008-06-10 22:18:37] <Andrea> WET!
[2008-06-10 22:18:42] <_77BeTa77> oh lawd
[2008-06-10 22:18:56] <Andrea> it feels like a warm apple pie
[2008-06-10 22:18:57] <_77BeTa77> .....
[2008-06-10 22:18:58] <Andrea> LOL
[2008-06-10 22:19:02] <SHININGSTEEL> Does the bed get wet?
[2008-06-10 22:19:04] <_77BeTa77> *deathfap*
[2008-06-10 22:19:08] <Andrea> YES the bed gets VERY wet
[2008-06-10 22:19:12] <OOKIRBY> Woah
[2008-06-10 22:19:15] <SHININGSTEEL> I hate dirty beds.
[2008-06-10 22:19:15] <OOKIRBY> My nice warm
[2008-06-10 22:19:16] <_77BeTa77> from all the cum
[2008-06-10 22:19:16] <OOKIRBY> smooth
[2008-06-10 22:19:18] <Andrea> at least when the girl shoots
[2008-06-10 22:19:27] <OOKIRBY> That would be AWSOME
[2008-06-10 22:19:29] <Totla> Is that your (being the girls) cum or sweat?
[2008-06-10 22:19:31] <Andrea> Just change the sheets
[2008-06-10 22:19:33] <Totla> mostly, I mean
[2008-06-10 22:19:36] <OOKIRBY> lol
[2008-06-10 22:19:39] <SHININGSTEEL> I would have to change the sheets right afterwards.
[2008-06-10 22:19:40] <Andrea> girls cum mostly
[2008-06-10 22:19:51] <Andrea> I don't sweat during sex
[2008-06-10 22:19:52] <OOKIRBY> Most dont ejaculate tho =\
[2008-06-10 22:19:52] <SHININGSTEEL> I can't sleep like that.
[2008-06-10 22:19:56] <_77BeTa77> but you don't have any balls....
[2008-06-10 22:19:58] <Andrea> I just shoot
[2008-06-10 22:19:58] <OOKIRBY> I think thats like insanely cool
[2008-06-10 22:20:09] <Andrea> you don't have to have balls to shoot
[2008-06-10 22:20:12] <_77BeTa77> orly?
[2008-06-10 22:20:25] <Andrea> if you play with a girls clit enough that gets her more eroused
[2008-06-10 22:20:26] <SHININGSTEEL> Girls nearly have the same glands as guys do. Just no sperm.
[2008-06-10 22:20:34] <Andrea> tease her as much as you can and she will shoot
[2008-06-10 22:20:42] <_77BeTa77> oh lawd
[2008-06-10 22:20:44] <OOKIRBY> woooo
[2008-06-10 22:20:52] <_77BeTa77> all this sex talk is making me....
[2008-06-10 22:20:54] <SHININGSTEEL> This is making me uncomfortable
[2008-06-10 22:20:57] <_77BeTa77> brb gotta go fap
[2008-06-10 22:21:05] <Andrea> LOL @ Beta
[2008-06-10 22:21:08] <SHININGSTEEL> You people and masturbation
[2008-06-10 22:21:17] <SHININGSTEEL> I only do it like twice a month.
[2008-06-10 22:21:18] <Andrea> Shining you're only 13 of course it would make you feel uncomfortable
[2008-06-10 22:21:24] <Andrea> I do masturbate
[2008-06-10 22:21:26] <Totla> I"m only 14 and I love it
[2008-06-10 22:21:29] <Totla> :3
[2008-06-10 22:21:30] <Andrea> Probably less then you do Shining
[2008-06-10 22:21:42] <_77BeTa77> back
[2008-06-10 22:21:43] <_77BeTa77>
[2008-06-10 22:21:44] <SHININGSTEEL> once a month?
[2008-06-10 22:21:45] <Andrea> I think I am once a month to once every two months
[2008-06-10 22:21:56] <_77BeTa77> Everyday
[2008-06-10 22:22:01] <Andrea> Beta if you cum that easy you won't please a girl
[2008-06-10 22:22:02] <_77BeTa77> maybe that's why i cum so fast
[2008-06-10 22:22:05] <Andrea> you need at least 12 mins
[2008-06-10 22:22:14] <SHININGSTEEL> It goes down once you grow older. I don't do it as much as most people because it makes me feel guilty and sad.
[2008-06-10 22:22:24] <Andrea> I heard on the radio that 12 mins is adverage for sex
[2008-06-10 22:22:29] <OOKIRBY> I do it like twice a day
[2008-06-10 22:22:32] <SHININGSTEEL> 12 minutes?
[2008-06-10 22:22:34] <OOKIRBY> sometimes 3
[2008-06-10 22:22:39] <SHININGSTEEL> That's not even enjoyable.
[2008-06-10 22:22:43] <Andrea> yup 12 mins is good enough
[2008-06-10 22:22:43] <_77BeTa77> I didn't cum noob
[2008-06-10 22:22:44] <OOKIRBY> it calms me of sexual tensions
[2008-06-10 22:22:46] <SHININGSTEEL> I want sex to last for hours.
[2008-06-10 22:22:53] <OOKIRBY> I don't want to be sexual all the time
[2008-06-10 22:22:54] <SHININGSTEEL> Not 12 mins
[2008-06-10 22:22:56] <_77BeTa77> oh lawd, same
[2008-06-10 22:23:00] <Andrea> I masterbate when I have sexual tensions
[2008-06-10 22:23:07] <SHININGSTEEL> Who doesn't?
[2008-06-10 22:23:08] <Andrea> I might have to tonight after this conversation LOL
[2008-06-10 22:23:32] <_77BeTa77> okay srs going to fap be back when I cum
[2008-06-10 22:23:34] <Andrea> I tend to cyber sex more.  I get off by seeing who I can get to cyber with me
[2008-06-10 22:23:37] <OOKIRBY> I do too Andrea
[2008-06-10 22:23:40] <SHININGSTEEL> How much do you people cum?
[2008-06-10 22:23:44] <SHININGSTEEL> Curious;
[2008-06-10 22:23:46] <Andrea> I cum a LOT
[2008-06-10 22:23:52] <_77BeTa77> umm
[2008-06-10 22:23:53] <Andrea> I mean I have to put towels down
[2008-06-10 22:24:00] <Andrea> and it like flows out of me like water
[2008-06-10 22:24:02] <_77BeTa77> not much
[2008-06-10 22:24:06] <_77BeTa77> I'm a wimp at sechs
[2008-06-10 22:24:07] <SHININGSTEEL> I do about a handful.
[2008-06-10 22:24:17] <Andrea> I don't like a lot of cum from a guy personally
[2008-06-10 22:24:28] <SHININGSTEEL> Why?
[2008-06-10 22:24:32] <Andrea> I would say I do about a bowl full maybe 2
[2008-06-10 22:24:36] <_77BeTa77> it's too wet and sticky
[2008-06-10 22:24:42] <_77BeTa77> btw some ss this conv
[2008-06-10 22:24:53] <_77BeTa77> oh lawd@ andera
[2008-06-10 22:24:54] <Andrea> Well once I was giving my boss a blow job in his car and he came in my mouth
[2008-06-10 22:24:56] <SHININGSTEEL> I hate to admit it, but I just eat it.
[2008-06-10 22:25:00] <Andrea> since then I just don't like guys cum
[2008-06-10 22:25:13] <Andrea> I've actually jumped when Sharpedo22 came on me
[2008-06-10 22:25:17] <_77BeTa77> Your....boss?
[2008-06-10 22:25:20] <Andrea> I had to go take a shower right away!
[2008-06-10 22:25:20] <_77BeTa77> O.o
[2008-06-10 22:25:21] <SHININGSTEEL> wow.
[2008-06-10 22:25:22] <Andrea> Yes my boss
[2008-06-10 22:25:23] <_77BeTa77>
[2008-06-10 22:25:24] <Sceptile> O_0
[2008-06-10 22:25:29] <SHININGSTEEL> What did it taste like?
[2008-06-10 22:25:34] <_77BeTa77> salt
[2008-06-10 22:25:36] <_77BeTa77> I know
[2008-06-10 22:25:37] <Sceptile> sour.
[2008-06-10 22:25:40] <_77BeTa77> .I tried my own
[2008-06-10 22:25:46] <SHININGSTEEL> Mine tastes like sugar.
[2008-06-10 22:25:46] <Andrea> It was just kind of salty and sour I guess
[2008-06-10 22:26:02] <Andrea> I held it in my mouth and then when I said good bye I spit it out
[2008-06-10 22:26:09] <Andrea> I LOVE the taste of mine
[/spoiler]

And there's plenty more where that came from 

[Fluffy Cocaine]

Not even this succeeded in turning my stomach over, although I did wait with dread for the "one bowlful, maybe two" comment.

Looking at this in parallel with the idea that most of these people are crazy religious is hilarious. The only thing bigger than Andrea's perversion is her hypocrisy. Giving her boss a blow job? Definitely the most Christ-adoring thing you could do.

[Rosti LFC]

The idea that she could just casually throw it out there in an IRC conversation is just as ridiculous.